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29 September,2009 15:34

Birthday 2009

happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
happy birthday.
to me.

Every year it's the same thing; I seemed to be cursed or something.

This past week, my hormones have been going up and down. Yesterday, it reached its peak.
So I tell myself - Fuck it, from now on, 29th September will just be a day of torture for me.

My parents will always the one who remembers my birthday.
Without any hinting.

From now on, I will no longer give any presents. Why should you be happy at my expense?! Everyone has their turn to be happy. You all don't miraculous disappear when it's my turn!

I'm broken. Flawed. Dark and twisty.
Thank You, sincerely from my heart.

EDIT


I see a silverDIAMOND lining~.

Actually I had a similar ring, a Valentine's Day present for myself some years ago. Its been on my finger for years, and ironically I'd decided to take it off few days ago. Except that Mum's ring is thinner & DIAMOND-crusted! o(^o^)o

The diamond necklace is so pretty♥♥♥

祝我生日快乐，祝我生日快乐
祝我生日快乐~
祝我.
生日快乐.

每年都是一样的；我的命仅仅就是这样吗?

过去这几天，我的情绪起起落落. 而昨天，升上最高点.
从现在起，9月29号只会让我更痛苦.

只有自己的父母永远会把孩子的生日记在心里.
无需任何提醒.

从现在起，我不再会给任何人任何礼物.
为什么你们把自己的快乐建在我的痛苦上?
每一个人都有幸福的权利. 为什么到我快乐的时候，你们却不见踪影呢?!

现在的我，已经陷入了无底洞.
我忠诚地谢谢你.

EDIT
呵呵，我有类似i的戒指，是几年前送给自己的情人节礼物.
戴了很多年又不曾摘下来... 但几天前因不想没过去的阴影缠住，就决定把它搁在一旁.

妈妈送给我的戒指比较细，而且有钻石的哦! o(^o^)o

钻石项链也很美美哟♥♥♥


AtelierGal at PIXNET at 03:34 PM | Comments(4) | Trackback(0) | Hits(36)
30 September,2008 9:12

Resolution 决议



My fave fruit juice - fusion of papaya & water-melon☆

The point here is to show off my nails~.
Previously I had used yellow & glitterish polish.
This time, I used green which doesn't look so bad.

Not really a green-color kind of person, so I use it at a minimum.

I was utterly hopeless yesterday, tears flowing with no sign of ending.
Only my parents & couple of online friends remembered my birthday.
To think that friends from so far away know me best.
We have known each other for a couple of years, I hope someday we'll meet.

As for the others that I know physically: (you know who you are)
So much for being a friend who tries to be there whenever you need me.
But you chuck me aside after I'm no longer of value to you.
From now on, don't you dare ever contact me again!

As for her whom I've treated as my best friend for 12++ years:
No matter how determined you are when it comes to end a friendship, it's never easy.

She doesn't give a damn about it, but I'm not a cold-blooded person.
Now that I have seen her true colors, I don't intend to salvage anymore.

Give me some time to heal. (´･ω･`)


我最喜欢喝木瓜加西瓜的果汁咯☆

重点就是炫耀一下我的指甲~.
之前我用的是黄色和闪亮亮的指甲油.
这次用的是绿色，效果还不错呢~

我不怎么喜欢绿色，所以用起来越少越好.

昨天的我真的糟透了，泪流满面地过一整天.

只有自己的父母跟几位网友记得我的生日.
谁能料到，远方的朋友竟是我的知己.
虽然大家认识了几年，真希望有朝一日能够见面.

至于我认识的其他人:
你有事的时候，我一直精力地伸出援手.
但是一没有利用价值，你就把我撇开.
从今以后，你别想再与我联系!

至于那个在过去12多年我认为的是死党:
不管你的意志力多么坚强，要结束一段长年的友情真的很困难.

她可以不当一回事， 但是我不是个冷血的人.
既然已经看清她的真面目，我也不打算挽回了.

给我一点时间去治疗我的心吧. (´･ω･`)

AtelierGal at PIXNET at 09:12 AM | Comments(0) | Trackback(0) | Hits(123)
28 September,2008 13:13

Life & Death 生与死



Last month I mentioned about the numerous amounts of tribute videos to the then-alive Paul Newman.

The Hollywood legend passed away 2 days ago(Sept 26), at the age of 83. (ﾉ＿･､)

The beginning is never where you think it is. Our lives are so important to us that we tend to think the story of them begins with our birth.

I'm gonna a year older tomorrow.
It's depressing b'cos it signals the beginning of wrinkles' permanent residency.
Okay, it's still early to panic but it's terrifying to even think about it!! (つд⊂)

I'm gonna continue reading my novel, which kept me up late last night.
Would probably be spending the day with my nose in my book.

When the clock strikes twelve I will gaze into the night.
But there's nothing there to see, no one in sight.
There's not a soul out there, no one to hear my prayer....

上个月我提到很多为当时还健在的Paul Newman而制作的怀念影像.

这位好莱坞前辈2天前过世了，享年83岁. (ﾉ＿･､)

人生的开始并不是你所想象的.
我们认为自己的命很重要，所以认定我们的故事是在出生后而开始的.

明天我又大一岁了.
情绪跌到谷底，因为这也象征了皱纹的来临.
哎呀，我是恐慌得太早了，不过一想起来就很可怕啦!! (つд⊂)

我要继续读小说了，昨晚也是读了很晚才去睡觉.
这一整天应该也会一样吧.

一过了凌晨12点，我就会望着天空.
但是什么也看不见，也没有人.

一个人影也没有，没人听得到我的祈祷....


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26 September,2008 12:09

Birthday Blues 生日忧郁 2

My birthday is in 3 days, 72 hours and 9 meals away.
I have absolutely no plans for September 29.
Should I head out just for the sake of not spending the day at home?

I can't be feeling sad & lonely because I should be immune to it by now.
But really, am I? Or am I just deceiving myself?

One thing I know: It is this deception that's making me blue.

Anyway, I'm gonna stop planning what I'm gonna do on Monday.
If my heart tells me to stay home, then I will.

Considering the current milk controversy,
I'm not collecting the chocolate cake with the voucher Mum got from a baby birthday party.

Thank you very much, China! o(>_<)o

New episode of Supernatural & season premiere of Grey's Anatomy!!
I'll keep myself happy!


距离我的生日还有3天、72个小时、9顿餐.
September 29 当天我毫无计划啦!
我是不是因为不想呆在家而出门呢?

我不能感到难过和寂寞，因为我应该已经习惯了.
但是，真的吗? 我在骗谁呀??

我只知道一件事: 就是这个自欺欺人的骗局弄得我很忧郁.

算了，我不想再为来临的星期一做什么计划了.
若真的想呆在家的话，那就随心吧.

不过因为最近的牛奶风波脑的沸沸扬扬的，我就不去领那个免费的蛋糕了.

中国，谢谢你了哦! o(>_<)o

新一集的《Supernatural》和新一季的《Grey's Anatomy》!!
我会把自己弄得快快乐乐的哦!


AtelierGal at PIXNET at 12:09 PM | Comments(1) | Trackback(0) | Hits(178)
24 September,2008 0:13

Autumn Equinox 秋分



According to the lunar calendar, my Chinese birthday was 2 days ago.
Mummy Dearest remembered more than 24 hours too late (lol)

The Chinese eat noodles on their birthdays, which symbolizes longevity.
Double eggs represents getting full marks if you're a student.

So I was checking the calendar...
the annual Autumn Equinox took place on my lunar birthday! Σ(ﾟー^*)

It signals the end of the summer months and the beginning of winter.

Why couldn't my parents named me Autumn?

Okay, I'm off to bed.
Nitey night! (´・ω・)ﾉ


2天前是我的农历生日呢.
亲爱的妈妈居然在24多个小时之后才记得 (笑)

我们华人在生日的时候，妈妈都会煮代表着长寿的面线.
若你是学生的话，2粒鸡蛋就代表会在考试得满分.

在看日历的时候，发现一年一度的秋分竟然在我的农历生日当天发生呢! Σ(ﾟー^*)

简单的来说: 就是要跟夏天说拜拜，即将迎接冬天的正中间.
我的意思就是，秋天来了啦!

嗯唔...怎么爸爸妈妈当初没帮我取个关于秋天的名字呢?

好了，我要去睡咯.
大家晚安! (´・ω・)ﾉ



It's okay, though. My English Birthday is in 5 days!
不过没关系啦，我的阳历生日还有5天就到了! ( 　＾ω＾)


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18 September,2008 12:47

Birthday Blues 生日忧郁



It’s drawing near and I’ve got mixed emotions.
I have no big plans -as usual- and I am trying not to feel sad about it.

Trying being the operative word, which is not working well... (´･ω･`)

Like last year, I'll probably spend the 29th at Starbucks with a book.
Except that I don't have an interesting novel to read at the moment! (ﾟﾛﾟ)

By the way, I've finally finished Justin Evans' novel last night☆
It didn't blow my mind, though it was a fresh take on the notion of demonic possession.

It's depressing that I am getting older and yet I'm nowhere close to the life I've always wanted… (つд⊂)

I no longer have the determination to make my 'first cry' day special.
What's the point? I'll definitely be sobbing anyway.
It's okay though, I'm used to my crappy birthdays... (TДT)


越来越接近了，心情还是很复杂.
跟往年一样，我没有什么计划，也设法不要感到难过. (´･ω･`)

29号当天，应该会像去年一样在Starbucks度过生日，看看小说打发时间.
只是我目前没有有趣的小说可读呀! (ﾟﾛﾟ)

对了，我昨晚终于把Justin Evans的小说给看完了哦☆
故事还过得去啦...

自己即将又大一岁，一想起来心情就跌到谷底.
再加上，距离我想要的生活实在太远了… (つд⊂)

我再也没有要过个开心又特别的生日的毅力了.
毫无意义了... 当天我会以泪洗脸，度过一整天.
没关系了. 真的. 我习惯过着没人在乎的生日了... (TДT)

AtelierGal at PIXNET at 12:47 PM | Comments(2) | Trackback(0) | Hits(164)
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