Someone once told me that before I could love anyone else, I had to love myself. A human concept that I constantly struggle to grasp.
The turmoils I've been through in the last decade have rendered me this sense of self-worthless. Betrayal took command; continuity of my feelings being taken for granted; being walked over like a freaking doormat. If that was a precursor to Purgatory, I'm glad to be let out of the pit. Finally.
This year began with discovering myself, knowing and falling in love with the inner me. It sounds daunting and perhaps a little weird, but it's ultimately liberating. I am becoming more and more solid of a person I have always wanted to be. Building up this unflappable facade hasn't been easy, thus people may not always see the person inside me because of this nonchalant exterior.
Being stingy to myself isn't healthy either. Ever since declaring a Love Me revolution, the haul beast has been on a celebratory roll. I guess my expenditure in the last 6 months is enough to expel whatever injustice and woes accumulated all these time.
Tomorrow is Valentine's day; a day that merely serves as a reminder of the freedom and independence I have as a self-sufficient woman. I will be spending this day as a woman who is learning to love herself before prowling for a significant other; only then will I truly and wholeheartedly be able to love another.
Selected Category: About Me (13)
- Feb 13 Sun 2011 16:34
- Oct 01 Fri 2010 10:00
哇~ 一早起身就看到凌晨时分写的文章...既然是本日的热门呢! ^o^
只不过要以英文来做翻译，有少许的难度.... 嗯嗯... 好吧，就说我懒啦! T-T
- Oct 01 Fri 2010 00:10
I’ve always looked forward to my birthday. 29th September has always been a magical day. The date filled with my favorite number - 9. Double 9 spells double happiness, and I felt like the luckiest girl in the whole world.
To give and will receive is what I was taught by my parents. Treat someone with love and respect and they will reciprocate. Alas! That was not the case, at least for me. You see, for the last 10 years, I have been thrown deeper into the Bog of Eternal Stench by each person I’ve met. Each expecting to be on the receiving end, but never to give in return.
Without going into specifics, it took me a good two years to forsake the negativities and fair-weathered friends. Never mind that my phone book blinked that big fat ZERO in my face. Unloading those excess baggage was the best decision I have made in my life.
So I’ve turned a year older that day before… and yesterday. Funny how my Western and Chinese birthdays would fall side by side. Only my mother would remember my Lunar Birthday. Bless her. Mothers are often neglected on birthdays as we spend the day making merry with friends and loved ones. But think back that eventful day. Hours spent in the delivery room screaming in pain as their uterus contract …. !@#$%^&* ….. Explicit details aside, mothers should be the one being celebrated instead, don’t you think so?
Reading back my tweets, I was astonished by how how I’ve matured mentally.. 29th September is no more than just a date. Mundane as it seemed, but receiving warm thoughts and well wishes continuously throughout perked up my day! Those few seconds that people took to think of me is more than I could ever asked for, and I had fun thinking up of quirky replies too. What a great way to start a new chapter of my life.
So this is me, adding a strain of <insert dreaded color> hair, I am a year older.
- Nov 18 Tue 2008 12:03
Just experienced my first blood rush.
I got so angry that my head felt giddy.
Must calm myself down...(´･ω･`)
I don't want to suffer a hemorrhagic stroke so young...
- Jul 02 Wed 2008 12:21
I'm surprised that I make no mention being a Keane fan.
They have a number of good songs; this one describes my current mood.
And I quote from my favorite poem by William Butler Yeats:
A waste of breath the years behind
In balance with this life, this death.
突然发现，我怎么没在部落各提过我是 Keane 的歌迷呢? 嗯嗯...
以下是由 William Butler Yeats 写的一首诗中，我喜欢的最后3个句子:
- May 20 Tue 2008 11:34
Mum got me a pair of white earphones~
( ﾟдﾟ) ・・・
You're supposed to stick them into your earlobes?
Why did she get me these kind?!
I clean my ears very often, mind you.
It's just that I don't like the idea of sticking anything into my ears!
That's what Mummy always says when we were young.
So I gave it a little try but they keep dropping out (lol)
I still love my old-fashioned earphones. (=´(エ)｀)ノ
( ﾟдﾟ) ・・・
- May 19 Mon 2008 00:39
Let me show you just how tiny my handwriting is Σ(ﾟー^*)
Betcha can't even make out what I had written in my notes (lol)
By the way, I really do have neat handwriting ＿|￣|○
想声明: 我的字迹还算很得体的哦 ＿|￣|○
- May 16 Fri 2008 09:06
Everyone always complain about my handwriting.
It's so small that, in their words, "it's for ants to read!" (lol)
"Use a magnifying glass, if you must!" I always retort back.
I don't really care, though.
Besides, I'm proud that I can write in small fonts! σ(^。^;
The text are meant for my eyes only, I write however I want♪
Although I know I will need a magnifying glass as I grow older. (。・-・)
- Feb 12 Tue 2008 08:50
I saw this movie once many years ago and fell in love with it
Hmm... I remembered it was aired on a late Saturday night. (lol)
I bought the DVD months ago; was excited when I saw it in stores!
Why did it take me so long to watch it? (ﾟﾛﾟ)
Certainly a movie of my favorites☆
Starring Richard Dreyfuss; directed by Steven Spielberg.
嗯嗯... 我记得是在某星期六午夜播映的. (笑)
由Richard Dreyfuss 主演；Steven Spielberg 执导.
- Aug 14 Tue 2007 15:02
Wouldn't it make life more easier or better just by using an eraser to erase your bad memories or mistakes? (o*。_。)o
- Jul 22 Sun 2007 09:01
The news channel seems to have a soothing effect on me.
I have no idea why.
Whenever I'm overseas, the first thing I do is switch on the TV and tune it to the news channel at the hotel.
Even before I go to bed, I would keep the TV(tuned to the news) on.
While I'm immersed in my reading, I would automatically switched to the News and keep it at the very lowest volume.
That way, I can keep my concentration as I can still hear some noise-like things while reading.
I just can't stay comfortable with total silence, it makes me feel lonely.
I always feel that News Anchors bring a calming effect on me.
No matter how chaotic the situation might be, they always report it as if they are telling a bedtime story.
Well, maybe it's just my imagination, though☆
The news were reporting about the Harry Potter parties at various bookstores when I took the picture. （*＾ｰ＾*）
I'm taking my time to read "Deathly Hallows."
The thought of finishing the book at one go would bring the magic away. But I can't seem to stop reading (lol)
As I started on my book, I felt goosebumps and started to weep.
Not only because it's the final book, but as the story continues and finding out which characters die along the way... (´･ω･`)
(Not gonna provide any spoilers☆)
昨天新闻正在报道《哈利波特・终极篇 》风靡全球的同时，我把画面拍了下来 （*＾ｰ＾*）
- Jun 17 Sun 2007 01:29
Dream Racer is the first ever Korean drama I’ve watched. The year was 1997 and it aired on Mondays & Tuesdays at 10:30pm.
So I go to bed at 12:30am on 2 week nights. Thank God I was in the afternoon session that year at school. (-_-)zzz
At the time, Korean dramas weren’t popular.
In fact, this drama was the first ever Korean drama to be aired here.
It wasn’t until 2001 when housewives and girls my age started to get addicted. Believe me when I say I’m not a K-drama addict☆
I only watch selective shows with either my favorite actor or well-scripted story. The former applies when I saw a magazine advertisement of this drama. The storyline was okay but my focus was on the 2 male leads though. σ(^。^;
Also, the theme song and music score caught my attention♪
6 years ago, I came across a store selling the drama. I immediately bought it without any hesitation. Too bad it’s dubbed in Chinese and the dubbing really sucks! I watched the first few discs, got fed up and stopped watching altogether. All these years, I’ve been keeping an eye on a Korean version but…(´･ω･`)
Back then, there were hardly any Korean music available locally. My only way to record the music was using cassette tapes with my home stereo. Few years later, I pay to convert that tape into CD. The sound wasn’t clear, of course. (T^T)
Out of the blue, I suddenly thought of the drama yesterday morning. I had great difficulty and wasn’t confident since it was an old drama and I wasn’t sure if the soundtrack was ever released. I spent 6-7 hours searching on the Internet. Just before I admit defeat, I finally found it!!After 10 years, I got the music I wanted~!!! ↖(^▽^)↗
One actor in the drama is Lee Byung Hun. He’s my first favorite Korean actor with a dreamy deep voice and a true gentlemen.
Next is Won Bin who happens to share the same birthday with me.
我以选择性看某些韩剧 - 很好的剧本或者该剧中有我喜欢的演员.
看了几碟就受不了 — 索性不看了!!
他可是我喜欢的第一位韩国演员 - 风度翩翩、拥有迷人又低沉的嗓音
接下来就是元斌 - 他还跟我同一天生日哟!!
- Jun 12 Tue 2007 17:14